I needn’t have worried about that one little word: widower.“Our Endless Numbered Days”, by Claire Fuller, is published by Fig Tree at £14.99 The Big Short, the film adaptation of Michael Lewis' book of the same name about the causes of the financial crisis, opens in UK cinemas this weekend.After date number four, when things began to get serious, it was my sister, ironically, who warned me about having a relationship with a man who was probably still grieving.But during the following weeks Tim slowly told me about Jane’s diagnosis, her illness, the fight she put up and her preparations for death.He has goals he wants to reach, he wants to become a dad, he wants to have a family and i want to achieve the same things like have another child since I am already a mom to a 7 year old. He has been making progress, changing things around in the apartment they lived in like putting away clothes that hold sentimental value, repainting, replacing certain pieces of furniture.I understand its a process and a very delicate one at that. If push to make changes, he may not like that at all.In the first emails Tim and I sent each other we mentioned previous relationships – my failed marriage and his wife’s death at 36 from breast cancer – but only in a fact-finding kind of way.
They lasted for as long as Tim needed to talk, and I was happy to have them.
This is very new to me and obviously him and I don't want him feeling like i'm pushing or being a nag because thats not my intention. That part of heeling needs to happen and yes I think that dating may be happening too soon (That`s my opinion) You yourself have come out of a 14 year relationship and should also take time to come to term with this.
He's a good man and i'm very proud of the progress he's made and I want to make sure thats known but I also don't want to feel left behind in certain aspects. It is normal to have strong feelings because the lost brought you closer together so for now my suggestion would be to just go on being friends and take things slow and wait until after the full year has gone by before making plans.
Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss. After she passed away suddenly I was there for him 100%.
We were both very active in supporting one another as friends and we just fell in love unexpectedly because we started to see we wanted the same things in life.
Sorry I forgot to say, in regards to the statement that you don`t want to be left behind in some aspects , his grieving needs to happen on his own and even in what may appear selfish to others.